This time last year, I had a serious case of Senioritis, and I was ready to graduate. I was sick of caring about my gpa and the pointless classes I had to take. I just wanted to move on with my life. Now, after my first year of college, I can't help but look back. I was right about a lot of things. My gpa in high school barely mattered, and now it couldn't matter any less. Yes, I still have to take General Education classes, but they aren't nearly as bad as the ones in high school. And one of the most important things I was right about... I get to call the shots now. I get to schedule my own classes. I get to choose what time I want to have some of my classes. I even get to choose my major; what do you know! My freshman year taught me a whole lot about myself. I think I'm a lot smarter than I thought I was. I know more about this crazy world we live in than many of the people who sat in my English Composition II class. English Comp I was awesome. I had an amazing teacher. Even teared up the last day when I was leaving. My classmates were intelligent, and I loved listening to what they had to say. I really miss going to that class four days a week. I think I only ever missed one class, and it was because I worked the election polls that day.
Something else I learned about myself: I stopped letting people walk all over me. I started opening my mouth more. I think I didn't do that as much my senior year of high school because junior year, I got in trouble for it. But you know what? The people who take a stand for what they believe, for what their values are, they're usually the ones who go just a little bit farther than everyone else. So, when I had a problem with something this past year, you better bet I spoke up about it. I just got so tired of people "putting me in my place." There are times when they need to do that, but not All the time. I want people to know how I feel. I like to try and work things out.
Oh and another thing. When someone says something to you about how you did something wrong or how bad you were at something, just take it or leave it. If it's true, then take it with a grain of salt and move on and improve yourself. If it's not true and you know it, then Forget it. You know the truth, so why fret? I went through this a few times this year. One of the times, I think I needed to hear what this person had to say. It was about how the speech I gave was "really bad." Now I think saying it was really bad is a little harsh, but it definitely needed improvement. However, his comment actually helped me. After disagreeing with him and whining to some of my friends about it, I finally took a step back and used what he said as a learning tool. My next speech was killer, and honestly, if it wasn't for that kid telling me my last speech was bad, that wouldn't have been the case. I ended up doing the entire speech almost completely by memory. And let me tell you, I felt like a badass. I was so proud of myself. The rest of my speeches were also good because of that. I could never thank him enough.
Something else I learned about myself: I am capable of being a leader. I have always sort of questioned this about myself. But after this year, I can confirm that I am more of a leader than I thought I ever was. And looking back, I have always been a leader. It's funny... how I have been something for so long, and I didn't even realize.
I did really well my Freshman year of college. I passed all of my classes with either and A or a B. I moved up in all of my dance classes someway, somehow. I was in two dance shows. I was rather focused on getting my work done before having fun. I didn't let others distract me Too much. I also had a ton of fun. I joined a sorority, something I never really had much interest in before. I partied. I went out. I went to the clubs. I was involved. I went to a concert. I sang a solo on stage for a huge Greek Life event and was one of the committee members who helped put my sorority, Alpha Gamma Delta's piece together. I volunteered a lot. I made a lot of friends. I ran 13 miles (not all at once) at Relay For Life. I had so many opportunities and accomplished so much this school year. I am so happy dance is now part of my every day schedule. I have never been so involved with something at school in my life. Besides choir. It's just really rewarding.
Last week, I even flew to New York City by myself, stayed with someone, and auditioned for two different things at Radio City Music Hall. I've always been independent, but I was so proud of myself for even trying at something that was such a big deal.
There was quite a bit of heart ache for me this past year, but I think it's because I was learning so much about myself. I'm still the same person. I'm just a little more confident, a little bit more informed, and I stand a little taller.
Now, maybe you're thinking I'm bragging about myself. Well, I kind of am. Because I'm human and because most of the time, I think about all the things I do wrong, all the things I failed at doing, and blah blah. So tonight, I wanted to flip the table. Sometimes, you just need to give yourself some credit.
These were my thoughts for the night, all jumbled up into one blog post. Hope you've enjoyed.
See you on the other side.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCBpGxqtWk0
Just a song that I thought went with this somewhat.
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